If Copiers Could Talk?

Some of the stuff I have seen and heard over the years leads me to having these audio phrases loaded in copiers.

Here's a few that I would like to have.

1. Could you please get your butt off of me!

2. Everyone step away, whadda think I am, the water cooler!

3. Go ahead, kick me again and I'll send a virus to everyone in your LDAP directory!

4. Hello Cutie!

5. Hey You El Cheapo, how about give me the real stuff instead of this crappy generic toner!

6. I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so!

7. I really, really hope when you came outta there you washed your hand before you touch me!

8. Of course I'm jammed! You may want to think about reading the manual ONE TIME!!

9. I'm not feeling that well today and I will be taking the day off!

10. Psst! You the technician, can you convince the owners to let me retire!

Ah yes, the Multi-Functional Copiers seems to be the water cooler of the future.